


Mon amour, excuse moi.

by djazmiin



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Blood, Caretaking, Christmas, Danger, F/F, Fluff, Guilt, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Injury, One Shot, References to Depression, i tried not too get too graphic with my descriptions, if you're really sensitive to any of these i dont recommend reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 23:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13375371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djazmiin/pseuds/djazmiin
Summary: All she had to do was to find her way into Talon's headquarters. All on her own.Nothing more, nothing less.Lena "Tracer" Oxton was pretty confident that night. Maybe a little too much, but did she care ?No, she didn't.It's not like they'd expect anyone to show up on Christmas eve anyway, right ?After all, they deserved it.So, tell me, what could possibly go wrong ?





	Mon amour, excuse moi.

**Author's Note:**

> i know christmas was more than two weeks ago but this was my secret santa present for overlookingtheworld (go check out her tumblr!) and i thought why not post it here. so yeah, enjoy some widowtracer angst/fluff

Her feet were barely touching the ground as she zipped through the night, panting, leaving nothing but a blue trail behind her. Blood was dripping down her chin, she brushed the back of her hand against her cheek as she turned around, making sure he wasn’t following her. “Fuck”, she tripped, landing on the thick layer of snow covering the streets in this cold December night. 

She knew she should’ve stayed home, she knew it, and still. Somehow she’d thought it was a good idea. After all, it was Christmas Eve, they wouldn’t expect her there. She’d planned everything : all she had to do is to find a way into Talon’s lair, sneak into Sombra’s quarters and look for any kind of information she could gather without alerting the hacker. Well, the last part was probably the trickiest one but she figured since they wouldn’t be here anyway, it would give her some time to find a way to get at least something. And maybe she could even take a look at their quarters, that’d be enough information already. All she had to do was to be careful, and avoid their cameras and sensors, but she already had an idea of their whereabouts, so she wasn’t that worried about getting caught. Plus, it’s not like she had better stuff to do tonight. 

She loved everything about Christmas : the pine tree filling the living room with its very distinct smell, the lights and baubles hanging down its branches, the whole town being slowly covered in snow, the music, the food, everything. But mostly, she loved how it could bring so many people together. As if life had been paused. And god knew she needed it, more than anyone else - breakdown after breakdown, she felt like nothing could prevent her from falling apart once again, if it wasn’t for Christmas. They had everything planned out, they’d spend the evening together at their quarters, Angela and Fareeha would cook for them, and she’d decorate the tree with Hana and Lucio. Then they’d sit in the living room and open their presents, celebrate together, enjoy this one night where they could simply rest, without having to worry about tomorrow. 

And maybe she could even sneak out for a moment, just to meet with her. Nobody would notice. They’d have just this moment together. 

She didnt ask for much, and still, even this one night she couldnt have. 

Talon attacked their headquarters a few days ago, and they werent ready to withstand another push. They didnt last long, and although Talon didnt manage to pass through their forces, they managed to damage them deeply enough for them to draw back. Many had been injured and, obviously, Christmas Eve had been cancelled, most of them needing more than a few days of rest to get back on feet. 

Yet, Lena hadn’t been touched a single time. How come ? Just to think about it made her hate herself even more, and that was probably the reason why she decided to invade Talon’s lair, all on her own, on December 24th. That day, something had kept her from fighting alongside her friends, and that something was the reason why they lost. 

Her hands were buried in the snow, she was sitting there, on the ground, staring at the bloody stains she left after falling. All she could see was a pair of eyes, golden, piercing through the night, through her mind, she shook her head. She couldnt let her distract her again. 

Sneaking into their headquarters wasnt easy, but it wasn’t something Lena “Tracer” Oxton couldn’t do. Once she had found her way into what seemed to be Sombra’s quarters, she’d started looking around for whatever she could find that’d help her and her friends put an end to Talon, once and for all. Obviously, she didnt find anything, which she should’ve expected, knowing the hacker. It was hard for her to admit that the sole reason of her presence here tonight was the fact that she felt guilty for what happened to her team, and she somehow thought that coming to this place and trying to take down the whole Talon organization on her own would be a good idea, and maybe it would work. 

But god knows it was the stupidest idea she’d ever had. 

She realized that the moment she heard his voice. “You’re gonna regret this.” She turned around, seeing nothing but a tall shadow standing in the doorway, and before the thought of running away hit her mind, he pulled his shotguns out and shot her in the shoulder.

And thats how she ended up here, lying on the cold ground, panting, tears slowly streaming down her face as she was trying to recollect herself. She never should’ve gone there on her own, she didnt even know what she was expecting from this. When her friends will learn what she tried to do tonight, they’ll most definitely be the ones to kill her, if Gabriel didn’t already finish the job until then. Thats why she stood up, stumbling around for a second before she started to run again, until she got a sight of the right building, which made her let out a relieved sigh. She slowed down, knowing he wouldn’t have followed her that far anyway, and she entered the building, climbing the stairs until she got to the 6th floor. Lena opened the door, a mixture of sweat, blood and melted snow dripping down her face as she entered her apartment. She took a second to close the door, locking it, before she let herself fall against the dark wood, slowly gliding to the ground, grunting from the pain. 

“Qu’est ce que-…” 

Lena jumped, flicking her head in the direction of the voice. She was there. Standing in front of the patio door, her long, dark hair framing the face she was so scared to see again. She was used to those golden eyes, piercing through her every single time she looked at her - this time, it was different. There was nothing piercing to her gaze, actually, it almost showed something like… concern. 

“Chérie what happened to you ?” It looked like she didnt dare to move. 

“Fuck off… I dont want you here.” she mumbled, lowering her glance, knowing that those golden eyes would make her change her mind if they just as much as stared at her the right way. Silence filled the room, heavy on her shoulders. 

“Those are some very rude words coming out of such a sweet mouth.” She barely heard her approaching, Amélie was just like a cat ; she moved gracefully, her footsteps were light on the wooden ground, her tall silhouette was ripping through the banality of her corridor. 

“Please, just- just get out, alright ? I’m not in the mood to play.” she sighed, grimacing as she tried to stand up. She could feel her heart race both in her chest and her open shoulder, it almost hurt, and she could feel how the world around her started to get dizzy. 

“Je ne suis pas là pour jouer ce soir, chérie” she heard, before her vision started to become blurry, her eyes slowly shutting down, and her head hitting the door once again. The last thing she saw was the silhouette she loved so much growing closer to her, kneeling down next to her bruised self, and only her eyes were glowing that night. 

////////

Amélie and her had this little… game, they loved to play. Nobody knew about it, and nobody would ever know about it, for it was their little secret. Something they shared for quite a while now, and although it was so wrong for them to do that, it was one of the very few moments were everything just… felt right. Talon’s elite sniper was also Talon’s eyes, going from town to town, watching them, following them, when they think nothing can get to them. She spent enough time watching every Overwatch agent, one after the other, through their every day life, and mostly, following them to their places, taking notes of everything that could be important and help them to bring this sickening organization down, once and for all. She did it with Angela, Lucio, Hana, 76, even Reinhardt (it was probably one of the most boring moments in her life, the old man just sat down on his couch and watched those stupid games only elderly people watched on their TV, and most of the time he’d just fall asleep during the first ad break). Then, she started watching Lena. Something about her pattern intrigued the french agent, every day was different, unlike everyone else, she couldnt put a finger on her habits, for she didnt have any. At least, that was what she thought. In reality, Lena had noticed from the very beginning that she was being watched, and used the Widow’s confidence to get around her and find her hiding spots. Until one day, where she confronted her. They fought, and fought, and fought, yet, bullets barely touched their moving bodies, as if they were dancing past each other. And then, it became an habit. Their meetings, their fights. Somehow, both of them needed that, as if they were enjoying every second of it, which they were. None of them knew exactly what brought them together, maybe they were just clinging onto old memories, maybe they were trying to forget them, but still, they met, every other night, on that same roof top, and fought. Some people get to know each other over some coffee, and them ? They fought, danced through the night, and left each other with the biggest smile spread onto their faces. One day, though, a too-well placed shot hit Lena right in the leg, leaving her vulnerable to the enemy sniper. She knew it was just a matter of time before she’d take advantage of the situation to get rid of one of Overwatch’s most efficient troublemaker. After all, the Amélie she once knew was no longer here, replaced by this emotionless silhouette she couldn’t help but admire. Her cold gaze was piercing right through her as she saw her raise the murderous weapon, scope in, Lena closed her eyes and thought to herself, maybe she’ll wake up, maybe none of this ever happened and she was still fighting the demons inside her head, pushing her to think that somewhere inside the Widow’s body, there was still a heart. She heard the shot, her ears were buzzing loudly and she collapsed, pain taking over her body, or at least that was what she thought. As she opened her eyes, she saw her come closer, holding out her hand. 

To this day she still didnt know why Amélie didnt kill her, why she decided to save her instead, bringing her back to her place and taking care of the wound she had left on her leg. After that, she came by every other day, after midnight, to check on her ; changing her bandaid, bringing her some food, taking care of her, everything the old Amélie would do. Lena did all the talking, trying to find out what she was doing here, why she didnt shoot, what pushed her to do the right thing, but she never got any answer out of the woman, instead, she’d just nod, and say a few words in french Lena didnt manage to grasp. After her condition improved, Amélie’s visits slowly decreased in number, but she still passed by once in a while, just to listen to the girl while she talked about her day. Somehow, with everything that had happened between them, Lena felt like she could trust her. After all, she could’ve killed her that day, and still, she didnt. She wouldnt call it a bond, or maybe she did - there was definitely something odd about them but she figured, as long as it went like this, she‘d enjoy every single moment. 

On the battlefield, she usually heard a distinct shot, which wouldn’t touch anybody - instead, it was like a signal, and she took advantage of the mess created by the fight to sneak around the enemy frontlines, to find her way to the snipers spot. Nobody knew about the little game both of them liked to play, they teased each other without giving too much of themselves away, and it was fine like that. It lasted a while, until a few days ago ; they were on their rooftop, again, Lena was sitting on the very edge of the building, staring at the orange sky, and the sun disappearing behind the stone jungle in front of her. Amélie was resting against the wall, behind her. They did this a lot, they didnt talk, they just stared at the sky, and it was already enough. “I’ll never get tired of this, y’know” she whispered. At this exact moment, Overwatch’s headquarters were being attacked by Talon’s members, and Lena wasn’t there to defend it. 

It was the last time they saw each other ever since. 

////////

“Chérie, tu devrais faire plus attention à toi” was the first thing she heard when she woke up. She felt the soft mattress of her bed under her body, and even softer fingers brushing against her forehead, making her shiver. Her skull still hurt, and so did her shoulder, but she noticed how she couldnt move that well, and felt the bandages on her skin. Frowning, she opened her eyes, meeting with this golden gaze she feared so much. If she didnt know any better, she’d probably think it was concern that shined in her eyes.

“What are you still doing here ? I told you to leave.” she mumbled, trying to sit up but her entire body started to scream at her in pain, and Amélie softly pushed her back into the many pillows displayed on her bed. 

“What were you thinking ?” there wasn’t a hint of anger in her voice, instead, it felt like she was genuinely concerned. 

“I dont know. I had to do something.” Lena sighed, closing her eyes again, not wanting to get another glance of the Widow’s face.

“No you didn’t. You were just being stupid.” She had always loved the accent she had when she was speaking, it made every word sound much softer, which made her even more dangerous than she already was. But this time, it was different. 

“I know what you’re thinking, Lena. You wouldn’t have made a difference, believe me.” 

She opened her eyes again, shaken by the sudden anger that filled her mind after those words hit her ears. 

“Are you fucking kidding me ?! What is wrong with you ? Of course i would’ve made a difference, we lost because of me !” 

Amélie shook her head, leaning back, her hands resting on her lap. 

“You are being stupid, ma chérie. Don’t underestimate Talon, they would’ve hurt you if you’d been there. You should thank me.” 

Suddenly, silence filled the room. It felt like it lasted an eternity, before she finally gathered the strength to sit up, grimacing from the pain, before she looked her straight in the eyes. 

“You knew. You knew, didn’t you ?” 

Again, silence. They stared at each other, both of them were waiting for the other to break the silence.

She finally nodded. 

“You… Why did you do that ? I… I could’ve been there, i could’ve helped them..!” Slowly the realization hit her, she didnt know if it was the pain, or the fact that she had been tricked by the one person she really trusted, but tears started to stream down her face, dripping down her chin, wetting her sheets. 

“It is not what it looks like. You don’t understand.” 

Lena shook her head, brushing her hands against her cheeks. 

“Then what is it ?! What is it, tell me !” 

Another silence. 

“TELL ME!”

Amélie stood up, without a word, and left the room, closing the bedroom door behind her. 

She couldnt believe it. 

“I trusted you !” she tried to shout, but her voice barely filled the room, and she was left there, wondering. How stupid could she be ? Seconds passed, it felt like hours, she stayed there, sitting on her bed, her mind suddenly as empty as her bedroom, she barely reacted when the door opened again. Amélie walked in, holding the door open. 

“Please. Just come.” 

She knew she shouldn’t follow her, she knew she shouldn’t trust her, but her bruised body still managed to get out of bed, slowly walking forward, using the wall as a support. The tall woman reached out and grabbed her hand, helping her as much as she could, gently holding her so she wouldn’t lose her balance. As she walked into the living room, Lena’s eyes started watering. She didnt recognize her apartment anymore ; next to the tv was a small pine tree, bloody red baubles hanging down its branches, decorated with tinsels and little light bubbles. She could barely hear the soft music in the background, there was a box sitting on the small table in front of the couch, wrapped in a beautiful red paper, snowflakes shining on it. She just stood there, in awe, unable to say anything. 

“Come.” she heard, and Amélie pulled on her hand, bringing her to the couch, making her sit down before taking a place next to her. Her cold hands were still wrapped around hers, and she was glancing at her someway she never did before. 

“Yes, i knew. I didn’t want you to get hurt so i kept you with me.“ 

Before she managed to say something, Amélie continued. 

“I know this… Christmas party was important to you. I’m sorry.” She knew she wasn’t really sorry about what happened to her friends, after all, they had always been enemies, she probably celebrated their victory later on that day. But still, something about her was so different tonight, she couldn’t help but think that all of this was sincere. 

“You have every right to be mad at me. I understand. But keep in mind that i did it to protect you.” 

She finally gathered the courage to answer. 

“Why would you even do that ?” 

Amélie stared at her for what felt like an eternity, before she grew closer to the girl, her grip slightly tightening on her hands as their lips met in what seemed to be the most cruel, and beautiful kiss she could ever dream of. She hated how much she enjoyed it, how every inch of anger had immediately been replaced by nothing but this soothing feeling tightening her chest. Her cheeks were burning as their lips finally parted, she tried to remain calm but her heavy breath betrayed her. 

“You can’t do that…” she whispered, but Amélie’s fingers met with her cheeks, brushing softly against her skin before she slowly pulled her back into another kiss, much softer this time. As they parted again, Lena tried to say something but she cut her off. 

“S’il te plait. Fais moi confiance.” 

She didn’t know what she just said, but she suddenly stopped caring, and as leaned forward to kiss her again, it was almost as if she couldn’t feel the pain in her shoulder anymore, as if she finally found the bandaid she needed. 

“Let me make it up to you.” she felt her cold breath against her lips as she spoke, hypnotized, she tried to be mad but she wasn’t, she couldn’t. Instead, she felt how her heart was racing inside her chest, almost as if it was trying to free itself from its ribcage, trying to meet with hers. She nodded, leaning into another kiss, before Amélie pulled back, wearing a very subtle smile. 

“Here.” 

Lena frowned, reaching for the gift she was handing her, wondering. 

“I… I dont know, wh-“

“Just open it.”

She waited a second, hesitating, before carefully ripping the paper off, revealing a simple white box. She opened it, and her eyes started watering again. 

“You…”

////////

She remembered it. It was years ago, they were sitting there, at a table inside of Gérard’s little castle, Amélie was looking through some magazines while talking to Lena about french fashion. “We french ladies know how to dress. We have the best ‘couturiers’ in the world, believe me.” They used to hang out a lot, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. She loved spending time with Amélie, simply hearing her brag about french fashion was enough to make her happy. She leaned over to look at the magazine she was holding, suddenly shouting. “Oh my god !” She pointed at a jacket, aviator style, made of brown leather and wool, eyes shining in excitement. “That’s the jacket I’ve always wanted !” Amélie just laughed. “See ? French fashion is the best. Maybe you’ll get it for Christmas, who knows ?” 

A few months later, Amélie shot her husband right in the head.

They never made it to Christmas. 

////////

She took the jacket out of the box, her fingers gliding across the soft leather. She remembered. 

“Joyeux Noël, chérie.” 

“Je t’aime”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading !! if you've noticed any mistakes (english isnt my first language so i guess there'll be many) or just want to give me feedback i'd love to hear from you ! also i hope you have a nice day (◕ᴗ◕✿)


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